[personal profile] yvonne_reid

AU: Takes place about a year after season one, but completely bypasses the original season two so no spoilers for that are here

Summary: Brian has a dark secret he shares with only Justin and is surprised at the reaction of him.

Warnings: Yes, rape, abuse and suicide (no major character death)

Author’s notes: This is a very difficult topic to be posted but the story was in my head and I just had to write it. Its not for everyone so if this is not your thing then please skip it. My advice to anyone who is or has gone through these traumatic even'ts...talk to someone and get help

---> with the advice of alot of you,I got my wonderful beta to do her thang and she did *loves her*,im reposting this again but if you want skip it feel free

Beta Princess is sweet Lyss [profile] a_life_defiant

If someone had known

Chapter One

Brian knew the moment he set eyes on Justin Taylor beneath the street
lamp on Liberty Avenue a year ago, that he was the man that would
change his life and make him see things in a different light.

The brunette had kept a dark secret from everyone in his life that
mattered from the age of fourteen upwards, and only started thinking
about it again when he met Justin and saw how brave he was about
standing up for himself in all if not most, situations.
Something he himself was never able to do at that age and still isn’t
at almost 30, at least that’s what’s he thinks.

For the last few months Brian has been seeing a Therapist dealing with
the abuse and rapes he was a victim of from he was aged nine years old
until he was seventeen.

“Good afternoon Mr. Kinney, how are you today”? Asked Dr Harris

“I am nervous as fuck doc, I can’t believe I came here and have to
deal with all this shit again, I think I am going to go crazy!” Replied
Brian as he stretched himself out across the sofa he always made his
when he entered the room.

“It’s perfectly normal, Mr. Kinney, especially at this stage in your

“I know we have only discussed a small amount of what has happened to
you, you said that you were abused by a cousin of yours from you were
nine years old until you were seventeen, are you ready to go into
detail about this yet”? The doctor asked as he went through Brian’s

Brian was fingering his sweater and didn’t really know what to say back
at this because he had never spoke out loud about any of this to
anyone, not even Michael; his best friend since high school.

“Why don’t you lay straight back across the sofa with your feet up and
close your eyes. Most people find that when they do that, words just
flow from them very easily. In your own time Mr Kinney”

The brunette lay across the sofa as he was instructed and closed his
eyes and his mind went back to the very first incident, when he was nine
years old at his aunt’s house.

“I remember it was very windy the first time it happened and raining
heavy as well.”

Chapter Two

“Everyone had gone to bed, and I was sharing a room with my youngest cousin Connor; he was asleep. I heard the door of the bedroom open and saw my eldest cousin coming into the room - he got in bed beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, telling me he was very cold and couldn’t get warmed up in his bedroom at all because it was freezing in there. I told him I was cold too and he said we should keep each other warm. We talked for a little while about things that happened that day and I noticed his hand had moved from my hip to the front of my pajama bottoms. He began squeezing me there. It hurt me, so I asked him to stop and he did. We spoke a little bit more about things and then he told me to turn around and face him, so I did. He took my hands in his and held them for a while; telling me how beautiful I was and how special I was. I remember I felt happy about hearing those words.”

Brian began to cry as he said the next part

“He took out his dick and he told me to touch it with both my hands
and when I did, he called me a good boy and he moved my hands up and
down on it. Then we heard a noise coming from the bathroom and very
quickly he got out of the bed and fixed himself back into his pants and
left the room without saying anything to me. I wondered what I did

Dr. Harris handed Brian some tissues and said “It’s ok to cry Mr. Kinney,
You are so brave to say all of this out loud, most people go through
their lives keeping what has happened to themselves and never telling
anyone or getting help because they blame themselves instead of the
person who was responsible for putting them into that position in the
first place. Do you need a time out Mr. Kinney”?

“No” Replied Brain as he lay back down and closed his eyes “I wanna
say more, I wanna get it all of my chest today and be done with it.”

“Ok, continue when you are ready.” said Dr. Harris as he sat back into
his leather chair and observed Brian as he took his next step into

“I guess the reason that last one sticks put in my head so much is
probably because that was the first time anything happened; the rest
are just bits and pieces, and I have no idea about whether or who the
fuck went to the bathroom or anything more specific than the event
itself - so just bare with me if you can.

An earlier event as well was we were all in bed, my sister and I in
single beds, and my cousin in the spare at the other side of the room.
The room wasn’t very big, but it was big enough to hold three single
beds and a dresser.

He got into the bed and lay behind me telling me what he always did,
I’m special, beautiful, yadda yadda and I believed him. It was not long
after that his mom said that they were moving to England to live and I
remember feeling happy but not knowing why.”

Chapter Three

“It didn’t really matter, I already knew I hated him touching me and I
hated touching him too. I didn’t know what we were doing was wrong, but
I knew I hated it.

They lived in England for about a year, and then one evening at the
dinner table my mom said that they were moving back over to this
country and would be moving in with us until they could get a place of
their own. About a week before they moved over, I had a very itchy head
and my mom checked it and told me it was red raw, so she took me to the
doctor. He examined it and told my mom it was psoriasis and I must be
stressed about something because that’s what causes it, I remember when
we got home that day my mom said ‘And what could a stupid boy of your
age have to be stressed about, it’s not worrying about paying the
fucking bills anyway’ I think it was round about this time I started to
really hate my mother - but that’s another story.

My aunt and her five sons moved into our home and just took it over.
They were noisy and very horrible to be around. After a while, my
cousin started getting into my bed beside me again and the touching
started all over again too but this time he would rub himself against
my ass until his breathing sounded heavy and my neck became wet.”

“Mr. Kinney, I’m afraid we are going to have to finish it there for
today. You were so great to have gotten all of that out into the open
today. How would you feel about writing it all out on paper along with
anything else you remember”?

Getting up from the sofa, Brian stretched and said “Yea, I will see
what I can do. When’s the next appointment doc?

Dr. Harris looked in his filofax and said “How does this day week sound or you can just give me a call when you have written everything out. No
rush at all Mr. Kinney, when you feel ready, I am always going to be

“Thanks doc, and one more thing, stop with the whole ‘Mr. Kinney’ shit,
that’s what people refer to my old man as; its Brian.” Said the tall man
as he put on his coat; smiling at the thought of even being compared to
his old man who he had as much time for as lifting up litter from the
streets as.

“Very well Brian, we will see you when we see you then”.

That evening Brian went to the diner and hung out with Michael and the
boys, had some dinner, and let Justin suck him off in the men’s room.

“Want me to stop by the loft after my shift Brian?” Asked Justin as he
wiped his mouth with some tissues

“Not tonight sunshine, I’m washing my hair.” Replied Brian as he
tucked himself away. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He said to the blond
and kissed his cheek before exiting the bathroom and diner, heading
back to the loft to do his task and spend time with his best friend
“Beam” for the night.

Chapter Four

Brian switched off his mobile phone, landline phone, locked his front
door, and put on some soft music to get his mind relaxed and make
himself feel like he was back in the warm office of his therapist so he
could do what he had to…write everything that happened to him at the
hands of his cousin for eight years.

Taking a bottle of Jim Beam from the fridge, a glass from the cupboard,
and shutting off all the lights, Brian took a notebook and bed from the
bedside locker and lay across the bed and started writing about his

Brain Kinney September 2002

My horrible shitty past

Since I never did this before I’m not even sure what the fuck I’m doing
but I’m going to give it my best shot anyway…here goes nothing.

It all started when I was nine, my cousin got into bed with me on a
wet windy night…fuck that sounds so cliché, anyway, he touched my dick
and made me touch his and I just wanted him to go away; which he
finally did when we heard someone going to use the bathroom. This
happened until his family moved to England to live for about a
year…until they came back and moved in with us until they could get a
place of their own, but this time things changed when he got in bed
beside me.

He would rub himself against my ass until his breathing got heavier
and the back of my neck was wet; he still continued to touch my dick,
so that didn’t change.

I am nearly sure it was a good year that they lived with us and every
night the same thing would happen, but one night he put his dick into
my hole and he told me not to cry when I did - but I couldn’t stop
crying because it felt like he was putting a knife up there. So he
stopped doing it after a few moments and went to his own bed.

When they moved out of our home into the house next door I was so
happy he was going so he would stop doing those things to me and stop
getting me to do things to him too.

One day not long after they had moved I was watching a video called
‘Dirty Dancing’ starring Patrick Swayze when he came into the sitting
room. We were alone in the house and it will stay in my head
until my dying day.

He said he heard I got my bedroom painted from since they lived with us and
asked me if he could see it. I said ok and took him up to my room and
as soon as we got into my room he asked if my bed was new and I told
him it was.

He went over and sat on it and I asked him if we could go back down
stairs again, he said in a minute and told me to sit next to him
because he liked it in my room. Fuck, I wish I knew better than to sit
next to him because when I did, he pushed me down on the bed and started
kissing my lips really hard. I tried pushing him away but he was too
strong for me and I couldn’t.

Chapter Five

He ran his hand up my bare leg and gripped onto my dick, telling me I
was the most beautiful boy he had ever seen in his whole life and that
he wanted more than anything to make love to me. The next thing I
knew, he turned me onto my stomach and pulled down my boxers and I felt
that stabbing again when he pushed his dick inside my hole. I
will never forget the pain of it, and this time he didn’t stop after
just a few moments. This time he kept doing it until he came.

I know he came because after he did, he told me that the white stuff
on my bed was called cum.

When he left, I lay on my bed and cried for ages feeling really dirty
and like I had done something very bad. When I felt something was wet
on my ass I went into the bathroom and wiped a tissue inside and saw
there was blood on it, a lot of blood, and the pain I felt when he was
inside me was still with me then - even though it had happened about an
hour before that. So I thought that I could get the bleeding to stop by
stuffing some tissue in it for a while. It did stop the bleeding, but
for days after the pain still stayed.

I felt so ashamed of myself and so bad in a way I never felt before. I
was eleven years old at the time.

Not long after that when I went into his house to visit my aunt,
because I thought he was away at his friend’s house, I went to use the
toilet and he was coming out of the bathroom as I was going in.

After I had finished he was standing outside the door, he told me he
had gotten a signed pic of Patrick Swayze that he won, and asked me if
I wanted it. He didn’t have to ask me ask twice, so we went down to his
room to get it and then he locked the door.

When I realized he had locked his bedroom door I asked him to open it
and let me out. I even begged him, but he said no.

He walked over to me and started stroking my cheek, telling me how
special and beautiful I was but I crouched in behind his bed and told
him he wasn’t going to put his dick into my ass again because it was
very painful for me. He said he wouldn’t do that and didn’t
even know why he did it because he knew it hurt me and he told me he
was sorry for hurting me and promised not to do it again. I believed
him and came out from behind his bed.

I asked him if I could have the pic and he got it out of his bedside
locker and gave it to me.

Then he pushed me up against the wall and said, since I am giving that
to you, why don’t you give me something in return? I didn’t know what
he wanted but the next thing I knew, he took his dick out from his pants
and told me lick it like it was an ice lolly I love so much of late.
All I could think of was that I really wanted that signed pic to give to

Chapter Six

So I got down on my knees and licked it for a long time until he told
me he wanted me to put it all into my mouth like a hot dog and suck on
it. Then I started choking a lot as it went down my throat and I kept
thinking I was going to vomit.

I was twelve years old when this happened

When I went home that day I started to think about the only way to get
any of what was happening to stop…was to kill myself. So I brought the
kitchen knife into my bedroom and started cutting my left arm until it
bled. That’s when my dad came into my bedroom saying ‘Sonny boy, didn’t
you hear your mother shouting you for your tea?’ he saw the blood on the
bed and my arm. Then he kicked the shit out of me for trying to seek
attention, when they were having a financial crisis and had to deal with
that rather than a pathetic boy that has nothing better to do than cause
them both to drink. I fucking hated my father from that day on, he only
had himself and my fucking mother to blame for the financial crisis
they were having, because they spent it all on booze and Claire and the
fucking money box that priests send around the chapel at mass on

Brian decided to get up and stretch his legs at this point and walked
around the loft looking at how far he came in his life.

His own loft, top of the line appliances, Italian furniture, his own
personally made alter…otherwise known as…his bed, a son that he loved
more than life itself and a lover to match…he was very happy at how his
life was given all the shit he kept to himself about his past.

He promised himself that seeing as Justin was the one that got him to
admit to himself (unknowingly) that he needed to get help with his
demons before he could make any real decisions about a future…that the
moment he was done writing down what he had to before his next
session…Justin could read it and know about that part of his life, the
part he was too ashamed to tell anyone for fear of not being believed
or being judged.

Positioning himself back on his alter with a fresh glass of Beam…Brian
continued writing in his notebook.

One night I was in my room watching the other kids in the
neighborhood having snow ball fight. I was out earlier, but had to
come in before mom dad and Princess Claire went to a friend of dad’s
house for the evening.

I remember wishing I didn’t have to be by myself when my bedroom door
opened and in walked my cousin (be careful what you fucking wish for,
right?). I hadn’t seen him since that day he gave me the pic and made me
give him the…blowjob in return.

I asked him what did he want to which he replied I want to keep you
company. I suddenly I felt sick.

Chapter seven

He walked up to me until he was standing directly behind me and asked
what was I watching that was holding my interest. I told him I was
watching a snow ball fight between the boys on our block.

Then he began rubbing my shoulders and right away I knew what was
coming, so I figured there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Mom and dad
wouldn’t believe me if I told them, or even care, so I might as well just
do whatever he wants and get it over with; then he will go home and
leave me alone…for a while at least.

He pulled me around so I was facing him and he said my name. I was
really beginning to hate my name, especially the way he was saying it.
Anyway, so I spared him vocal cords and simply said…just tell me what
you want me to do. When he took out his dick I knew he wanted me to
suck him off again, so I did.

When he left, I went to the bathroom and showered until my skin was
raw, screaming and punching the cheap tiles that surrounded the shower
walls. Then I dropped to my knees until I had cried so hard it felt
like everything had left me, including my sanity.

When I went to bed that night, I prayed to the god my mother believes
in. Telling him I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to see my
cousin again for as long as I live, but the next day he was in my house
when I got up from bed, with his mother, in my fucking kitchen…laughing.
That’s when I believed there was no god. How could there be when me, a
fourteen year old boy who never asked a thing of him in my life, asked
this one thing and was refused it?

It was not long after that I asked big old Jack if I could have five
dollars to participate in a course the school was doing and he gave me the
worst kicking of my life; from the sitting room all the way up the
stairs to my bedroom. I was covered in blood and my eyes had swollen up
so bad that my face looked completely unrecognizable for nearly three

I hid myself away in my room and kept the door locked, not even
opening it until everyone was in bed or had left the house. The night
after the beating my pa shouted up to me after he had went down stairs
again ‘Sonny boy, I warned your mother before you were born that she
have gotten an abortion the second she found out that you were a
fetus. I told her you were a spawn of Satan himself, and would cause us
nothing but bother.’ Then he laughed and said ‘Looks like I wasn’t wrong

Brian lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke deeply, and then he said out
loud… “But I did amount to something, you sucking sack of shit, and I
will never treat my son or Justin the way you treated me or mom. Do you
fucking hear Jack?!” He yelled as he looked up at the roof “Fucking burn
in hell and meet saint fucking Joan at the gates!”

Brian began to cry violently into the pillow for a long time. He knew
that if he was to continue with the writing he would need a time out, so
he picked up the phone on top of his bedside locker and switched it
back to on.

Chapter eight

“Hi, how’s my blue eyed, blond boy tonight?” Asked Brian, with sarcasm
that often set itself out plainly before Justin that he could sense
something was bothering Brian.

“Umm, let me guess, you ran out of your fav conditioner and want me
to pick you up some and bring it over, am I right?” He replied with a
tone that told Brian he was alone at his and Daphne’s apartment, and was
in bed touching himself; probably thinking of him doing it.

“No smart ass, I want you to distract my mind from some shit I don’t
want to think about. Can we play a game?” He asked as he put the
notebook and pen onto the floor and got undressed, leaving on his

“Ok, I can play your game, as long as it’s hot.” Justin said in a
hoarse voice

“I promise you it’s going to be hot.” Replied Brian. “What are you
wearing?” He asked the blond as he rubbed his hand from his chin to his

“I’m wearing my boxers, do you want me to take them off?”

“No.” replied Brian. “Not yet. I want you to rub you nipples and get
them hard, imagine it’s me getting them hard for you by sucking the
them - pinch them too.”

Brian began doing the same thing to himself that he was telling Justin
to do and he continued to speak on.

“Move both your hands all the way down to your cock. Take it out
and stroke it really slowly for me.” Brian said as he himself did the

At this point both he and Justin began to pant softly.

“Briiian.” purred Justin.

“That’s it, say my name again sunshine - say it a lot. Say it the way
you know how I love hearing you say it when I am inside you.” Brian said
as he speeded up the stroking.

“Briiian.” Said Justin, as he too speeded up his stroking. “Fuck me
harder Brian, please I need you so much. Fuck me Brian, harder, faster,
Brian. Faster Brian, Brian, Brain, Brian, Brian aaaahhhhhhh fuck!” He
said shooting his load all over his stomach, while Brian shot his load
over his stomach at the same time.

“Fuck me Brian, that was really fucking hot. I never had phone sex
before…how about I come over and we can have the real thing?” He asked
felling pleasantly sated.

Chapter Nine

“Would you mind leaving it until tomorrow morning after your morning
shift? I’m in the middle of doing something that I want to tell you
about when you get here, but I still have more to do, so can you keep
your dick in your pants till then? Or do you need to go and fuck a
Twinkie”? Laughed Brian.

“Fuck you.” Replied Justin. “I’m not the one who fucks everyone in
sight, that’s you.”

“So I will see you in the morning then, ok?” Asked Brian.

“Of course you’ll see me in the morning Brian.” And then he took a deep
breath adding, “I love you Brian. I know you don’t believe in all
that love stuff, and it makes your dick soft even thinking about it
but…I do love you whether you believe it or not!”

Brian thought to himself something he already knew all along but
wouldn’t admit to himself or anyone. “I believe you Justin, goodnight.”
Then he hung up.

After taking a shower and getting a sandwich, Brian returned to his
notebook and pen and began to write more.

Two days after the beating, I was in the kitchen getting a sandwich.
Mom and dad were at work, and Claire was at school. My cousin came into
the house through the back door, which was always unlocked incase someone
got home early and had lost their key.

He asked me what had happened and I told him the usual story I had
accustomed to telling everyone after a beating from the old man...I had
fell down the stairs to the basement. He stroked my face and asked did
my parents take me to see a doctor. I told him of course they had and I
was okay.

I went into the sitting room and sat down to eat my sandwich when he
said… he was thinking about me last night while he was having sex with
his girlfriend and wished it was me he was doing it with.

I got up from the sofa leaving the remainder of my sandwich on the
table and tried to run upstairs but couldn’t. Every bone in my
body felt broken, and really hurt a lot. He watched me struggle getting
up the stairs, and all I could think was getting into that room and
locking it from the inside; hoping he would leave. But when I got
inside the room, he pushed passed and closed the door himself. I went
over and sat on the bed, thinking just let it be over whatever it is
he wants. I don’t have the energy to fight him. Before I knew what I
was going to do, I heard myself say ‘Just do whatever you want and
leave me alone please.’ Then he lifted my top and started kissing my
stomach; telling me I was hottest guy he had ever seen in his life and
he was in love with me. He told me to take off my pants and under wear
and lay on the bed on my stomach, that he would make me feel good - so
good I would never forgot it.

Then he raped me again, and despite my asking to stop and begging
him…continuing until the end.
Chapter Ten

After he was finished he lay beside for ages while I cried; stroking
my arm and telling me he was sorry for going so hard when I must still
be a little sore from falling down the stairs. He had no fucking idea
how in pain I was, physically and emotionally, and mostly because of
him – emotionally, anyway.

After a little while I began to feel nothing inside, except emptiness,
I felt completely hollow.

Before he left he threw twenty dollars on my bed and said, “Here, buy
yourself something nice next time you’re in town.” Then he kissed my cheek and
looked into my eyes and said, “I love you so much Brian.”

After that it was touching and blow jobs until I was seventeen when
his mom got offered a new job in a new town that was far away from this
town. I knew then that everything he put me through would be in the
past, and it would stay there forever.

I finished high school and went to college. Got a place of my own on
money I made doing odd jobs and working in a cinema. Shit jobs, but the
pay was good.

I promised myself that that part of my life was over, no more being a
fuck toy and a punch bag for me. I was done with that.

When I left college, I had fucked practically most of the students
there. Gay, straight, or undecided, and felt in complete control of my

An intern job came up at an advertising agency called Ryder and I
applied and got the job there after the first interview. I am currently
there, and not only that…I have just been made partner.

I have a son whom I adore and a…partner called Justin, who came into my
life on the night he was born, and I couldn’t be happier with how things
have turned out in my life from the wet and windy night when I was nine
years old.

Brian smiled as he closed the book and set it…along with the pen on
top of the bedside locker. He knew that he had gotten through the part
of writing it out and reading it over, despite how hard it was, and he
felt like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

The next morning when he got up, pissed, showered, and made some
coffee. He unlocked the loft door, (Justin had his own key) and he took the
book from the bedside locker and brought it over to the table in the
dinette. While waiting for Justin to arrive he fell asleep.

It was the sound of the loft door being pulled shut by Justin that
woke him an hour later.

“Justin, what time is it?” He asked through a yawn.

“Its ten thirty.” Replied the blond as he took off his carry on book
bag and coat. He then leant down and kissed Brian passionately on the

Chapter Eleven

“So how are you today Brian?” Justin asked as he sat down on the sofa
beside him.

Brian thought he would leave the sarcasm and bullshit he usually came
up with when asked that question behind and simply said… “Not bad
sunshine, I have had better days!”

Brian proceeded to tell Justin that for the last six months he had
been seeing a therapist for something that had happened in his teens,
and because it was something that Justin had told him one night was the
reason he sought out the therapist. That he was willing to share it all
with him, and only him, because he trusted him and knew he wouldn’t
betray him.

“I wrote everything in this book Justin, and I want you to read it all -
and if you fucking pity me after reading it, we are done. I don’t want
anyone’s pity, ok?” He asked as he handed his lover the book.

“Fine, I won’t pity you.” The blond mumbled.

Brian handed Justin the notebook and said, “I am heading to the
grocers to pick up a few things.” On the last word he was out the loft

Justin opened the book and began reading it. The more he read the more
he felt bad for Brian, and the more he felt sick also. He began to cry.

When he finished the book, he put it on the table and lay down on the
sofa; crying violently into the cushion. He cried for what felt like
a long time, until he heard the loft door open and Brian walk in.

He walked right up to Brian and hugged him really tight until he cried
out his last tear. Brian gently walked them both over to the sofa as he
held Justin in his arms.

“It’s ok Justin, I am ok now.” Said Brian as he held the blond a little

Brian pulled back Justin’s head from his shoulder so he could look
into his eyes. They were red raw, and it looked like he had been crying
for ages. He wiped away the tears and gently kissed his mouth.

“I am okay Justin.” He repeated.

Justin looked at him and said, “No you aren’t Brian, but I believe you
will be. And I believe I will be too.” He replied as he moved his eyes
from Brian’s to his knees.

Brian knew there was something Justin wanted to say…but couldn’t.

“Justin, did someone do something to you?” He asked, feeling sick at
what he thought the answer might be.

Chapter Twelve

Justin got up from the sofa and walked over to the window. He looked
out at the street that had been filled with snow from the night before.
Brian got up and followed him.

Taking a deep breath Justin replied, “When I was twelve, my mom and dad
went out to party at the country club and left Molly and me at our aunt
Nora’s house. But she wasn’t due home from work until ten that night so
we had to sit in the sitting room with uncle Joe until she got home.
Molly loved Joe but I didn’t, I hated him.”

Justin took a deep breath and Brian could see him struggling to find
the right words so he held him and said, “It’s ok Justin, in your own

He continued on “,The reason I hated him was because…a week before
when there was a party at our house, not long after I came out, he came
into my room with a bible he had found in the drawer downstairs and
told me there was something in it he wanted to talk to me about. Then
he started talking about how being gay was an abomination to god and
that because I was gay I was going to hell with all the other filthy

Brian held Justin from behind and spoke softly into his ear. “Fuck him
Justin, he had no right to say that to you. You are worth ten million
of him.”

Justin turned in Brian’s arms and faced him and spoke again. “He raped
me Brian. The music downstairs was so loud no one even fucking heard my
screams. He pushed me down onto my bed and ripped my pajama bottoms off
and raped me. I wanted to die in that moment because the pain I felt
was just unbearable. The more I screamed, the more it almost felt
like I would die, like I was being stabbed. He fucking raped me…he
raped me.”

Justin fell to his knees in Brian’s arms and they both stayed in that
position until he stopped crying.

Brian felt like someone had taken a knife and stuck it straight through
his gut. He could understand why all that shit happened to him but not
Justin. Not his sunshine.

Taking a deep breath Brain asked, “Did you anyone about this Justin?”

“A few days after it happened, I had worked myself into the right frame
of mind and was going to tell my mom. I knew she was in the kitchen
because I could hear her; she had just been on the phone.

I went in there and she was at the sink. I sat at the table and said
we need to talk about something - that I had something important to tell

I could see her shoulders shaking so I knew she was crying, when I
asked her what was wrong she told me she just got off the phone to aunt
Nora and that uncle Joe had hung himself in their shed. So I never told
her or anyone.”

Brian and Justin lay in each other’s arms on Brian’s bed at Justin’s
request, because no matter what was happening in his life he always felt
safe there. Brian told Justin it was the same for him and they both fell


Brian took Justin to his next appointment to see Dr. Harris and got him to
take on Justin as a patient as well.

Five years later, after much heartache, Brian and Justin learned new
ways to cope with what had happened to them. They realized that instead
of blaming themselves, they should have been blaming their attackers.

They told only each other when they had their off days, and vowed to
never trust any of the gang with what they went through. Not for fear
of being believed or judged, but because it was none of their business.

Brian opened his own advertising firm and called it Kinnetic and
bought a mansion in the country for his prince. They christened every
room in the house on the first day they viewed it; having asked the
realtor, who happened to be a certain Jen Taylor, to give them some time
alone to view the premises.

After the last place the made love in, which was the largest sitting
room in the house, in front of the open fires they had lit when they
first walked in, Justin spoke.

“I think we should call our home Bri-tin.”

Brian pulled him close and replied, “Well, other half of Bri-tin, I love
you. Always have, always will.” Then they both made love again, sealing
their vow of a committed relationship.

Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.



April 2011


Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 23rd, 2017 12:52 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios